You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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