I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
