if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize