He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
