someone get that fucking seahorse.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
