Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
