I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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