Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize