are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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