Will you blow on my dice?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
