turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
