I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
