she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize