Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
