The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize