so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
