...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
