drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize