I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
