I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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