She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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