I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize