do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
