Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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