Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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