I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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