On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I smell like Dick and happiness
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