quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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