I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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