your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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