Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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