She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
