Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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