i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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