I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
