my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
