I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Houston, we have a squirter
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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