i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
