The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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