This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
