I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
