you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
