Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
