This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What changed your mind?
Being sober
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the liver wants what the liver wants
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
