hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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