Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
