I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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