I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So vagazzling was a success
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
