This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
