he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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