Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you inspire me to be a worse person
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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