she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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