me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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