Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
