i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
