Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
