Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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